I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
