It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
