i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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