You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
