Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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