if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
