I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
