he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
