my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
