i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
