took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
