It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
