whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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