Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
