trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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