I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
