HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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