You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
