She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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