We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize