As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize