when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
