oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
