in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
