I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
