I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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