Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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