we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
