Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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