I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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