Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
