I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
