Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
