your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
