he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I could fuck to npr.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
