I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
