Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
