"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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