We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
