I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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