i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
