I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
