we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
