if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
