I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
