Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
