Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude. I can hear the air.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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