All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
