honey bunches of taint.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is Oprah even human
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
