My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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