Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize