puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
