pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think my moral compass just broke
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