you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
