And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
