Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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