just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
