I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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