I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize