I love black thongs
People in love make me want to vomit
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
