I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
